Monday, February 25, 2013


Asking for help is not a sign of weakness, it’s a sign of strength….asking for help is not a sign of weakness, it’s a sign of strength….repeat daily! I’m saying this to you, but it’s really for me. I have the hardest time asking for help. I will explore every option possible to do it myself before I ask for help…and by that time it’s a do or die situation. I guess my whole life I’ve been told what I can’t do….so I take that as a challenge. You can’t go to the Army… me. You can’t leave your husband….watch me. You can’t get pregnant…watch me (I think I overachieved on this one though!! LOL!) You can’t raise children without help from other people….watch me. I become so committed to proving what I “can” do….that even when it’s truly obvious that I need help…I refuse it…on the fear that I’ll appear defeated. It may also have something to do with the fact that when I have asked and accepted help from people, I was made to feel defeated instead of empowered….especially by family members who use every opportunity to “remind” me of their help. The funny part about this is I’m a giving person…not because I want to be recognized for it or stash up IOU’s…but because I genuinely know what it’s like to struggle…I mean really STRU-UG-GLE!!! If there is a way to prevent someone from going through hard times I want to help if I’m able…
But having children has definitely changed my perspective on asking and receiving help…I still struggle with it…but I’m more accepting of it now because it’s not about me. I have children who depend on me. My children didn’t ask to be brought into this world, I brought them here and they should not suffer for my need to “prove” I can do it all. Nobody wins in that! My BFF and co-founder of Nikeesha,  also made a good point in her recent blog at WE set the example for our kids and sometimes telling them isn’t enough...we need to SHOW them. Yes it's great for children to witness our strength, but they also need to know when they are not strong enough, seek help! I want my children to be able to ask for anything without feeling like a failure for doing so. I want to encourage and empower them to feel good about asking for help and to always seek help from others when they need it. Because sometimes you just cannot do it alone.

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